It’s been a while since I last wrote. I’ve spent the last few weeks thinking about a return to some kind of normality. A return to work and to move forward as a new, and hopefully improved, me. To be able to wake up in the morning and not give all of my energy to a job that I’m not sure I’ll ever find trust in again. To find myself in a new world where I can fulfil my duties as an employee, but save that extra piece of myself for something that I want to do.
This has left me with a nagging quandary – I know what I DON’T want to do. But what is it that I DO want to do? The things that I used to find great enjoyment in were mainly all found in my career. Asking this question leads me to fully embrace the reality that in order to move forward:
Perhaps I’ll need to focus my energy elsewhere.
Easy to say, but I’m not sure it’s quite as easy to do! First things first, I have spent time analysing my life and my current situation. Where do my strengths lie, and how do I use these strengths in my personal life?
At the moment, my life is settled, and I feel happy and so very proud of my children and their achievements. Aside from the odd taxi service (which I adore) and being a cleaner (which I don’t adore quite as much); I now have the opportunity to simply spend quality time with my kids and their wonderful partners when they are free. I’m not really needed as a parent as I have been for the best part of 20 years. Thanks to counselling and time, I have come to terms with the fact that this is ok, and I can now sit back and watch with awe as these wonderful little human beings set out on their own journeys through life.
For the first time in a very long time, I am being actively encouraged to be bold and use my skills for something I want to do. And with the positive balance that I have built for myself over the last few months, I find myself with the motivation, time and opportunity to pour myself into something just for me. This is all thanks to my amazing husband, family and friends (probably everyone reading this) who have literally coached me through the last year or so.
But before I can begin to focus my energy elsewhere, I need to take stock of my strengths and get insight into what I’m good at. Not very easy when my confidence has been shattered by work. I know that my strengths lie in communication. I adore creating effective communication for others and have a knack for seeing the bigger picture for the benefit of the business. I could put these skills into practice for the good of my local community. And I could even use this practice to perhaps consider a change in career or develop my own business. Who knows!
So that’s my plan. To reach out to businesses in the local community and offer to help with their communication. To put my energy into making a difference locally, with a view to considering just how successful that is. Not for anything in return other than helping out locally. Hopefully, the return on this will be to test these strengths and consider whether I can do anything further with them.
It might even allow me to find some of my lost confidence and perhaps move me onto a path where I can again see success in my skills and feel the warmth of a job well done.
Wish me luck!
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